Workplace romances -- they happen in every industry and at every pay grade. And that makes sense: after all, coworkers are the people we share challenging experiences with, the people we share goals and aspirations with, the people we form private jokes with.... And we're with them for eight hours a day -- or more!
We asked our site visitors whether they'd ever dated someone at work, and 47% said yes.
But although workplace romances are inevitable, they are also, for many folks, regrettable: Among those who had dated someone at work, significantly more than half said that workplace dating was a bad idea. Here's the breakdown:
Have you ever dated anyone in your workplace?
* Yes, and I don't see anything wrong with it. 21%
* Yes, but I think it's a bad idea. 26%
* No, but I don't see anything wrong with it. 16%
* No, and I think it's a bad idea. 37%
Interestingly, people who had not dated someone at work were even likelier to think it was a bad idea -- perhaps because of the examples set by lovebird colleagues.
We also asked people how their water-cooler romances had turned out. Here's what they said:
Has a workplace romance or flirtation ever ended up hurting your career?
* A lot: It caused long-term damage. 17%
* A little: It caused some short-term problems. 15%
* Not at all: Everything turned out fine. 21%
* I've never had a workplace romance or flirtation. 47%
And we heard some individual horror stories from respondents: for instance, "Mary Anne," whose affair with a colleague turned sour after he was promoted and began treating her worse than other employees (in order to avoid seeming to play favorites). She had to leave the company and the relationship. Then there was "Tony," who was appointed CEO of an overseas company by his girlfriend -- but when the relationship expired, so did his job (and his visa).
Nonetheless, the heart, as they say, wants what it wants. We also measured the current temperature at offices across the country. We asked:
At your current or most recent workplace, is there someone you have a secret crush on?
* Yes (and I'll never tell). 19%
* Yes (and I hope it isn't a secret for long). 8%
* No (and there's just no one "crushable" there). 28%
* No (and I am strictly business at work). 45%
Are you one of these enamored workers? Psychotherapist Tina B. Tessina, the author of "Money, Sex and Kids: Stop Fighting about the Three Things That Can Ruin Your Marriage," warns, "A lot of these relationships do work, and it's actually a good way to meet someone -- it's just that the consequences of a poor choice are so big." Tessina offers these tips for people embarking on an office romance:
DON'T get involved with a married coworker, no matter how much you like each other. DO keep your in-office behavior businesslike -- coworkers shouldn't be able to tell that you're dating.DON'T share information with your coworkers about your dating situation. You'll become the subject of office gossip.DO understand that, if the relationship has problems, you may wind up having to change jobs.DON'T suddenly start dressing provocatively at work; it will alert your coworkers that something's going on.DO remember your emails, phone calls, and so on are not private. If you must talk to your in-office inamorata or inamorato, use your cell phone in a private space, where you can't be overheard, or talk in code. DON'T allow yourself to be used by someone else in the office to get influence or information, and don't cuddle up to your boss in hopes of a promotion or raise.How do you feel about office romance? Share your comments below.
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